


First Steps

by extasiswings



Category: Bandstand - Oberacker/Oberacker & Taylor
Genre: After the Broadcast, Bedsharing, F/M, Feelings, Holding Hands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:08:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22983805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extasiswings/pseuds/extasiswings
Summary: After the broadcast, Donny and Julia once again find themselves in front of her hotel room door.
Relationships: Donny Novitski/Julia Trojan
Comments: 24
Kudos: 33





	First Steps

They don’t wait for the end of the broadcast to leave—they all know they aren’t winning anything. That was the whole point after all. 

The first breath of fresh air after they all step through the stage door is like breaking the surface after being underwater for too long—a little painful, but mostly just a relief. It takes a moment for Julia to get around to noticing anything else, the sounds of the city, the wetness on her cheeks, the way Donny is close enough to her side that their hands brush without even trying—

It’s Davy that breaks the spell that’s come over all of them.

“So,” he says, clearing his throat roughly to cover the slight quiver in his voice, “anybody want a drink?”

As that suggestion gets a chorus of agreement, Julia swipes under her eyes and nods as well. Her free hand accidentally brushes Donny’s again when they all start off down the street, and it’s only because of the proximity that she feels him start, then exhale heavily. She glances over and catches him looking back, gaze nervous and unsure, like a schoolboy with his first crush. But of course she knows, they both know, where his uncertainty comes from.

Julia tips her head and touches his hand again, deliberately, no mistaking it, and Donny looks away, then back, and finally takes her hand in his as they continue walking. When Jimmy glances back, Julia catches him biting back a smile as he goes right on pretending he didn’t see a thing. 

Later, Donny walks her back to her room, and the scene is so achingly familiar that Julia could almost laugh at the irony. The night before the audition, they’d taken the practical route, been responsible. Or maybe, they’d just been afraid. But…

_No matter how tough it is, no matter how much time it takes, I need to be with you._

“You were incredible tonight,” Donny says quietly, looking down at their clasped hands. “Really. I can’t—”

_This is life with the craziness of, the reality of, the necessity of being madly in love with you._

Practical. Responsible. They could still go back to that, put the cat back in the bag, push aside the confession, the kiss that came after, stay friends until Donny is...what? Better? Less haunted, less guilty, less afraid?

God, Julia can’t think of anything she wants less.

And so, she kisses him.

It’s a soft, careful thing, but it startles him anyway. Donny inhales sharply and drops her hand, reaching for her waist before he stops himself inches away.

“Are you sure?” He asks, and his fingers tremble when Julia covers them with her own and guides them to her hips. 

“Yes.”

It’s more restrained than earlier, but he kisses her once, twice, three times before pulling away. That, too, is like coming up for air, or ice cracking under a thaw. In one fell swoop, Julia feels a weight drop away, the built-up tension that she hadn’t even realized she was carrying from months without being touched with any sort of intention. Without even meaning to, she chases his lips when he pulls back, stealing one more kiss before she remembers herself. 

But Donny is smiling. It’s small, but it’s a smile nonetheless. 

“I should go.”

“Please don’t. Stay.” Perhaps it’s not what she should say, but Julia can’t make herself feel bad for it either.

Donny’s eyes widen. She’s not surprised to see the fear creep back in. “Julia…”

She shakes her head as her fingers curl into his shirt, as if that small grip is enough to truly keep him from bolting if he decides he should. 

“I’m not suggesting we should rush into anything,” she reassures. “It could be perfectly innocent, it’s just that...well, you aren’t the only one who can’t sleep through the night is all.”

_Hold me, darling_ , is what’s caught in her throat. _Hold me and let me hold you and never let go._

Donny swallows hard and sways into her, resting his forehead against hers. His hands flex on her hips like he’s struggling to let go and the silence stretches on for so long that Julia’s stomach twists in anticipation of rejection until—

“Okay.” It’s barely a whisper, but when Julia meets his eyes, Donny brings up one hand to cup her cheek and repeats it. “Okay. I’ll stay.”

It would be easy, Julia thinks, after they slip inside, once her heels are off and Donny’s jacket is tossed over a chair and there’s a bed that certainly _could_ be used for less innocent things if they were so inclined. It would be easy to kiss him again, to fall into him, to try and stitch his wounds back together by allowing him to bury himself in her. It would be easy. 

But it could also ruin them. Break this fragile, fledgling thing before they even really manage to get started. So Julia doesn’t kiss him again.

“Come here,” she says instead, still in her dress as she sits back against the pillows. Despite the flicker of hesitation that crosses his face, Donny slips his suspenders off his shoulders and acquiesces, stiff at first when Julia wraps her arms around him, but slowly relaxing. She cards her fingers through his hair when he presses his face against her neck and exhales shakily, and she doesn’t say a word when he wraps his arm around her waist and pulls her tight against him. 

_I love you._ It whispers through her mind, quiet but sure. It doesn’t hurt to think it—it’s the truth. It might hurt to say it, though. When there are other parts of her standing ready to unhelpfully point out that Michael is the only man she’s said those words to. So Julia doesn’t say it. Not yet.

Eventually, Donny’s breathing evens out, his arm going slack around her waist. Asleep. 

Julia watches him for a long moment, this beautiful, broken man she loves, and for once she sees peace. It won’t last, she knows that. It might not even last an hour. But it’s something. It’s a start.

And so, with that thought in mind, she closes her eyes and allows herself to drift off.

**Author's Note:**

> I just have a lot of feelings.


End file.
